“Do You Even Know What I Do In There?”: Media Representations and the Nursing Profession

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“Luca do you even know what I do in there?” Abby Lockhart asks Dr Luca Kovac in fictional medical dram ER. Abby’s frustrated question about her role in the emergency trauma echoes a question asked by many a real nurse when dealing with doctors, medical students, patients, their families, and members of the public. Medical television shows are some of the worst offenders for the representation of nurses, and while ER can be said to be better than others for actually portraying nurses in the main and supporting cast, none have quite given nurses the portrayal they deserve. Is this part of the reason that nursing is still such an undervalued position in society? There is a definite failure of most people to appreciate the professionalisation that has occurred in the profession over the last twenty years, and it’s not just laypeople. One thing medical television shows do seem to accurately capture is medical students and young doctors’ underestimation of the value of registered nurses.

The photograph above is the group shot from season 6 of ER. There is one thing common to almost all season photographs for this television show: only one registered nurse is ever featured. For the first six seasons it was Carole Hathaway played by Julianna Margulies, then Abby Lockhart (Maura Tierney) until she entered medical school in season 10 which made way for Samantha Taggart (Linda Cardellini). The nurses that have been there long term (Haleh, Lydia, Connie, Lily etc) are considered merely supporting cast members and their nursing role is featured only in relation to doctors’ orders. Additionally, their portrayal is often highly stereotypical with the group often sitting around the desk gossiping and laughing while dismissively telling residents that they’ll get to their patients soon. The “main” nurse is never portrayed like this, and the portrayal of Carole, Abby, and Sam are some of the better I’ve seen though their roles have become more outdated as the profession continues to grow (Carole for example ran from 1994-2000, an era throughout which nursing began to see great changes in education, training, and responsibilities). However both Carole and Abby expressed desire to become doctors after feeling disenfranchised with their roles in the emergency department, with Carole scoring high on the MCATS and Abby entering the series as a medical student who returns to nursing after her ex-husband fails to pay her tuition. Abby eventually succeeds which necessitates the entry of Sam in season 10. While the role of the nurse is portrayed fairly well for the time period, the series underestimates the number of nurses in relation to doctors, and assumes that most nurses secretly yearn to be doctors. The tension between nurses and young doctors is best expressed by Carole in season 6 when Lucy Knight, a medical student, makes the brash statement: “you can’t just do that; you’re a nurse and I’m…”. Carole cuts her off angrily saying, “you’re a what?! You’re a med student”. Lucy already has taken on the doctors tell nurses what to do persona as only a fourth year medical student. In shows such as House MD and Grey’s Anatomy nurses have an even less present role and often exist only as people standing in a patient room or as sexual conquests of the doctors. Their role is not only subordinate rather than in partnership with doctors, but they generate very little of their own care and instead sit around and wait to be commanded by a doctor. In House MD, no doubt to enhance the comedy that is House’s personality, nurses are often addressed crudely and made fun of and, again, frequently serve as sexual exploits or girlfriends for doctors like Chase and Taub.

With portrayals of nurses like this in some of the most highly consumed television programs how can we expect patients to think of us as highly trained professionals who have a semi-autonomous practice, and who work with doctors as part of a team instead of as placid, smiling assistants who simply do everything doctors tell them? The role of nurses needs to be public knowledge, otherwise we cannot expect our patients to know that they can ask us certain questions, or expect a high standard of care. Even upon telling people closest to me that I was going to be a nurse, many of them doubted that I would actually do it or assumed that I would later go to medical school. That’s because they had it in their head that nurses do things like fetch juice or water, clean bed pans, and shower people. While these may be some of the things RNs are expected to do, many of these tasks actually now (in Australia at least) fall to enrolled nurses (Diploma as opposed to degree trained) in large hospitals where one is fortunate to be part of a team of nurses. In smaller hospitals or primary care RNs may do more of the above duties, but it is a small part of patient care. In modern nursing you’ll find us in the operating theatre, as scrub, scout, or anaesthetic nurses; as nurse educators, consultants, or managers. The role of nurse practitioner is an interesting one which has come about in the last twenty years or so. Nurse practitioners undergo advanced training and can order their own tests, refer patients to specialists, and prescribe medications. In Australia this role has helped to relieve pressure on overcrowded GP clinics and as an extension overcrowded emergency departments. Nurse practitioner run clinics mean that minor illnesses and routine care can be performed by nurse practitioners. These clinics have since expanded to include some GPs for extended emergency care after hours that would otherwise result in long wait times in busy emergency rooms.

When asked what a doctor does, one generally has an excellent idea. Even when asked what a specific doctor does such as a surgeon, obstetrician, or cardiologist, most people still have a pretty good idea of what that entails. How do we get people to recognise what nurses do in the same way? How do we help patients to understand the different levels of nursing (i.e. Assistant in nursing, Enrolled nurse, Endorsed Enrolled nurse, and Registered nurse) and what this means for them? A better understanding would help patients better comprehend hospital resourcing and understand why certain staff can or cannot directly attend to a request (for example, an RN is running to an emergency and a stable patient requests water or food…they may have to wait just a little because an RN needs to be present in an emergent situation). Furthermore the role of nurses is often extremely undervalued with many members of the public or even hospital staff believing that nurses do not participate in complex care and do only basic tasks. Thus when nurses attempt to gain better conditions, pay, or benefits people are quick to ask: do they really deserve it? Damn right we do…and here are some examples: In post-anaesthetic care nurses take the reigns. Long after the surgeon and anaesthetists must move on to their next surgery, the PACU nurses care take care of patients’ pain, emotional health, and are on the look out for post-surgical complications that can be fatal if unnoticed. The scrub nurse is an essential member of the surgical team with many surgeons adamant that a sharp and educated scrub nurse makes their job easier and safer. A good scrub nurse knows the procedure the surgeon is doing so that, for example, if the surgeon calls for scissors but the nurse sees the patient is bleeding she realises the surgeon means a clamp and anticipates the mistake before it happens, saving time and the patient’s life. An ICU nurse must juggle the complex care of a patient who may be on the verge of death, while many specialists come in and out they must ensure medications are given correctly and look out for overprescribing or adverse reactions

The roles of nurses are varied and take on many forms, and it’s time more people knew it. Respect for a profession that touches so many lives is essential in modern medicine and public education about the role of nurses and their position within the health care team could help immensely with this. Nurses should not be so undervalued by so many for a job that would be obviously missed if every RN, EN, and AIN failed to go to work tomorrow. Do yourself a favour and educate yourself about the many different health care roles, especially if you have frequent contact with the healthcare system. In the majority of cases, the people that care for you are passionate about what they do and have worked hard to get there. Many of your nurses have Masters degrees, graduate diplomas specialising in their clinical area, as well as their qualifying degree. They work hard every day, often nights and weekends, often sacrificing time with their own families. It’s time we recognised the value of this work once and for all.

The Great Pretender

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It’s the name of a Grey’s Anatomy episode, albeit actually the one before where the quote I’m about to share comes from, one that I watched for the first time in the middle of my third year of university. It was during a time where my mind was waging a battle against itself, so much that finishing the last stretch of my degree seemed even harder. I remember looking at that episode title…The Great Pretender… and feeling like it was an indictment of everything happening in my head. The episode is part of a series of fantastic episodes during the show’s 11th season where Amelia Shepherd (pictured above and played by Caterina Scorsone), Derek’s little sister who is also a neurosurgeon, is attempting to remove Nicole Herman’s (Gina Davis) terminal astrocytoma. In these episodes she faces a crisis about her own abilities, having been overshadowed by Derek her whole life. This is the quote that stuck with me from those episodes:

“My whole career I have been the other Dr. Shepherd. He’s the real one, I’m the other one. Right now this plan of mine is theoretical. It’s just talk. But at some point I am going to slice into Dr. Herman’s brain. And I have this sick feeling that when I face that tumor, I will discover that I am not just the other Dr. Shepherd — I am the wrong Dr. Shepherd.”

What I was dealing with had nothing to do with brain surgery, or even my career, but that theme of feeling like a fraud or like you would eventually be proven wrong about everything you thought about yourself was palpable for me during that time. Re-watching the episode last night I thought about all the ways I still feel like the great pretender. Back then my fear was that I, like Amelia fearing that she was the wrong Dr Shepherd, was the wrong patient. Somehow my surgeon had chosen wrong and picked this girl still functioning, not in pain all the time, and still holding down two jobs and a full-time degree, to go looking for endometriosis inside of. I felt like I was wasting everyone’s time and I had thought so since the first time this kindly doctor handed me a surgical consent form. The reason I took it was because part of me wanted to believe that my pain wasn’t normal and someone could do something about it. I’ve written in previous posts about the mindset that women are taught to believe growing up, that everything that happens during menstruation is normal and ‘our lot’ and furthermore that we’re not to talk about it. I was very much in this mindset, having convinced myself of the normality of my pain and trying not to complain too much. I was in pain every month but for the days or weeks that I wasn’t I would forget how much it hurt. Pain is like that, when you’re in it you don’t remember what it’s like not to hurt and when it’s over you don’t know what you were so worried about…until it happens again. During those days and weeks I felt like a fraud.

Now that sounds rather arrogant when I look back on it, I somehow thought that I knew better than a leader in the field of endometriosis who thought that I had it. No, no, I knew better and there was no way I had it (sorry Dr T, you were right). My mind tore itself apart between this feeling of fraud one week and the pain the next week that would convince me that no, I did need surgery. I both wanted and deeply feared surgery, knowing that I needed it but was fearful of the actual business of doing it. The thing I feared even more was waking up from that surgery and finding that every moment I had been foolish enough to let myself think that I had endo would be repaid with the destruction of that identity. I spent every minute I wasn’t studying or working thinking about all of this, which actually isn’t as long as you’d imagine because I had two jobs, which cemented this identity of mine as the great pretender. What solidified it even more was that I didn’t let anyone know this was all I was thinking about, I pretended to be okay even when I wasn’t and the few times I went to try and tell someone it came out wrong or I couldn’t bring myself to. Part of me was afraid that because I had been quiet about my pain for so long, people wouldn’t believe me even when I said I had hurt for a while but just didn’t say anything. I became exceptionally good at pretending that I was one hundred percent fine.

Even now that I know I have endometriosis there is a doubt, perhaps because I doubted it for so long that I really was expecting a different outcome. I still don’t fully understand what it means to have endometriosis, for me.  I have heard many stories that share elements that are similar or identical to mine, but I have also heard many that make mine seem minor…unable to function, infertility, pain that never stops. Though at the moment my pain feels exceedingly bad, I still associate it with my IUD and not with endo…at least not yet. Sometimes it’s as though I’m waiting for someone to say it’s a mistake, it’s not really there. This is why follow up and having someone on your side to say, it’s okay now and we’ve got this, is so important with this disease. Doubt is a huge part of it. Dr Kate Seear in her paper “The Third Shift” describes how many women when they are diagnosed with endometriosis initially feel relief which later gives way to surprise, shock, or other emotional reactions. Furthermore, the information they had access to was often overwhelming with many struggling to decipher which sources were reliable and what action to take to mitigate their disease process. Uncertainty about what it means to have endo is only perpetuated through this confusion, as well as the many hours we often devote to thinking about everything associated with this disease.

I don’t know how long it will take for me to stop feeling like the great pretender, like I finally belong among my endo sisters. I only hope that it will come from fully understanding what was found during surgery and getting to the bottom of the fundamental questions anyone has about chronic disease: what does this mean? What has it done to me? What will it do?

2016: Ending Silence and Increasing Education Around Endometriosis

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2015 has been a spectacular year for endometriosis awareness in Australia. Sylvia Freedman, co-founder of EndoActive Australia and New Zealand has been, quite frankly, kicking ass. She and her Mum helped put together the first patient-centred endometriosis conference with a number of top-rate specialists, the content of which is now available in a DVD which has and will continue to help endometriosis sufferers. The Guardian also published a number of articles brining awareness to the condition and the voices of so many women were liberated in the process.

2015 was the year that I became someone with endometriosis after waiting for over a year and a half to find out. In the lead up to that surgery those articles helped me see the many different faces of endometriosis. Even up until the entered that operating theatre I doubted that I had it because I believed that girls with endometriosis didn’t look like me. They were in more pain, had to miss more school or work, and generally weren’t as okay as me…I felt like an imposter for even considering my meagre pain compared to their suffering. It took me a while to realise that I *was* in that much pain, I was too afraid of getting behind or being fired to admit it to anyone.  I was afraid that if I admitted it, the pain would feel more real and it would be worse…or, even more painful, people wouldn’t believe me. Reading the stories of other women made me realise that endometriosis looks like many different things. Some people have a lot of pain and very little disease, or a lot of disease and very little pain. Some people have surgery and end up in more pain because of scar tissue. Some women with stage IV, the most severe, endometriosis are able to conceive children while others have zero chance naturally or even with IVF. There are different levels, frequencies and severities of pain, but what matters is that women with endometriosis are in pain and they have been silent about it for too long. I discovered a million more stories as gained new sisters, endo sisters, who are keen to embrace you and welcome you into your brave new world.

What I have learned this year, and throughout the last couple of years, is that women are not encouraged to generally speak up about pain or periods. It is something that we are taught by society from an early age that menstruation is not something we talk about in polite conversation and questions become the realm of quiet conversations with only close friends, embarrassed Google searches, or if you’re lucky a conversation with a school nurse. In this environment of suppression how can we be expected to speak up about things we think are unusual? It is especially hard when we see that those of us that do speak up are often dismissed in the same way many a woman throughout history has been dismissed: we’re called crazy or hysterical, and told to suck it up because “it’s all in your head”. It’s not all in my head and I have the gory pictures to prove it. You know who never questioned my sanity? My specialist. And he’s a guy too and so is living proof that it is possible to be a male doctor and not condescend to your female patients. He always treated every word seriously and listened when I said I was afraid he wouldn’t find anything. I’ve been lucky to find him because hearing other people’s stories has assured me that many doctors out there, male and female, simply do not understand. That’s something we need to change.

In 2o15 we have come so far, but in 2016 we have further to go and more work to do. My personal contribution will be beginning to write about the experience of endometriosis and helping other voices come to light to help educate more people and maybe even medical professionals about what it is we live with every day. I’ll also be studying my nursing degree with the hopes that I can one day help girls like me by being a kick ass surgical nurse. But our goals as a community should be centred around further awareness and education, for everyone, so that women suffering feel safe and confident to say to their doctors, to their friends: I’m not okay, my period is hell and that’s not okay. Furthermore, we need to work harder in taking women’s pain seriously. Far too often women in pain are assumed to be dramatising or using pain as an excuse, and far too many times I’ve seen people make insensitive comments about that pain. The fleeting comment you make about how you wish you could get off work for period pain too hurts someone with chronic pain, because they would like nothing more than to have a normal life. The comment you make about your friend needing to “suck it up” because you get cramps too but don’t complain, is dismissive and frankly rude…you don’t know what is going on inside her body. Make 2016 the year you stop doing that. Make 2016 the year we take endometriosis seriously and start actively listening to the women that have it, because you will learn some astonishing things. You have an opportunity to learn so much and change the way the next generation of women think about their bodies, so they don’t think pain is their life sentence for being a woman. Reduce the average of 8 years it takes to get diagnosed because outside of the specialty area of endometriosis, an abhorrent number of medical professionals simply do not understand this disease.

March 2016 is Endometriosis Awareness and you can support the cause by sporting some sunny yellow attire and finding an awareness event. Endometriosis Australia is holding events in most major Australian capital cities. If you’re in pain, never assume it a sign of your own weakness or inability to deal with “a woman’s lot”…it’s not, and your pain matters. Ask you GP for a referral, and do your research. I was lucky enough to land one of the state’s foremost endometriosis specialists because my GP knew what she was talking about (because I really didn’t), but do better than I did at research. Find someone right for you and don’t be afraid to ask for second opinions. You have millions of Endo Sisters across the world eager to welcome you and help you through it, don’t be afraid to ask us!

Helpful Links:

Endometriosis Australia  http://www.endometriosisaustralia.org/

My Endometriosis Team (A social network just for us!)  http://www.myendometriosisteam.com/

Endo March Australia http://www.endomarchaustralia.com.au/