Hello lovely blog people, I hope you all enjoyed Christmas and had lots of fun, or at the very least lots of alcohol. I spent the last week on a road trip of epic proportions, travelling through three states and major destinations of Forbes, Melbourne and Dubbo. Christmas itself, as well as the bulk of the trip, was spent in Melbourne in the prettiest apartment I’ve ever seen (but maybe that’s not saying much when your house has no air-conditioning, no dishwasher…this had both dammit!). It was around this time that I made the adult determination (I’ve been to Melbourne several times at younger ages, in less pretty hotel rooms) that I live in the wrong state, the wrong city, and that I have several really good reasons to get the heck out of this humidity-rich state we call the Hellmouth (or maybe it’s Queensland). Either way I get to share my nice holiday with you, and that’s just fun anyway. Enjoy.
1. Acland Street, St Kilda
You see that?! You see that shiz above? Looks pretty good, huh? Well on Acland Street there is window, after window of these beautiful bakeries stretching right along the street. All promise a painstaking decision about what the hell to get, and which homemade frothy beverage will accompany it. Acland Street is in the suburb of St Kilda, home to Australian icon Luna Park, and that AFL team that seems to beat Brisbane every time they come to our little humidity bowl; damn them. I went twice in the space of 4 days, because I didn’t know when I’d be back again and I had to savour! The first visit was to the Acland Cake Shop where I had this delicious creation called a Ruby Delight, which is essentially this massively tall slice of what looks like cake, but actually consists of chocolate mouse wedged between two bits of chocolate and some cakey stuff. Oh what the hell, here’s the picture, cover your keyboard to prevent damage from drooling.
The second visit I went to a different bakery and feasted upon a peppermint roulade that was pretty much the best thing I’ve ever eaten in the world of cake and sweets. I can’t even look at an Aero bar now…it’s just too hard to forget that peppermint roulade. Brisbane needs some of this shiz, not happy Brisbane. I’ve seen bakeries, but these are masterpieces.
2. Lygon Street, Carlton
Yes, this is going to be one of THOSE posts where I unashamedly post pictures of my food; deal with it. If you’re hungry I advise you have a snack before continuing, as hunger can make one do insane things and I’ll not be responsible for any broken screens because you tried to eat the cake or garlic bread off your computer. But I digress… Lygon Street is all things Italian and will give you some of Australia’s best Italian food in one food precinct. Prepare for charming young men to be standing on street corners promising you a free round of drinks in return for choosing their restaurant. Sometimes they are charming older men, who make you feel young and pretty, and assure you that their food is authentic. I have not had one bad food experience on Lygon Street in the four times I have been there in recent years. This time was no exception with the most delicious seafood pasta (handmade ricotta ravioli is part of the deal) I’ve ever had. Seriously….in the words of T-Swizzle “like everrr”. Also, old Italian guys with guitars will serenade you and you will most definitely be confused as to whether you’re supposed to tip them, so you’ll just do it.
3. Public Transport
For anyone that lives in Brisbane, or Sydney for that matter, you’ll know that our public transport systems can be a right pain in the ass most of the time. I live in the northern suburbs, not THAT far from the city (10-15 mins tops) and yet I am only afforded one bus an hour off-peak. That, for you statistically minded people, SUCKS ASS. Do you know what happens when you get bored in the city waiting for a bus? You buy food. Generally Krispy Kreme donuts from the 7-Eleven, which are ridiculously expensive but also ridiculously good. It’s seriously bad for my limited funds. In Melbourne there are trams, lovely trams, that take you to places in a way that seems organised and logical (it should not take a freaking hour to get from the city to Wavell Heights people!!). The trains are also vastly superior. Where I was staying in Glen Waverly, considered an outer suburb of Melbourne, there was a train every twenty minutes. In the city, a train doing the city loop (Flinders, Central, Flagstaff, Southern Cross, and Parliament) seemed to leave every 2 minutes while I was there. I just want to be spontaneous and not a public transport scheduling control freak. Just give me that simple pleasure in life please…
4. The weather
Here in the Hellmouth I dread summer with the same kind of horror one dreads accidentally liking a potential date’s shirtless Facebook photo. Cue *dun dun dun* music. Summer makes you hate the other humans in an intense kind of way at times and makes you feel like Toby Ziegler.
In Melbs this Xmas, I walked down Lygon Street absolutely freezing. It was awesome. And even when it’s hot, it’s dry heat. DRY HEAT PEOPLE. Do not underestimate the pleasantness of a dry heat compared to humidity. In Queensland, temps above 30 degrees almost certainly mean a need to seek an air-conditioned building and a large bowl of ice cream. It’s unbearable, and once someone at uni practically screamed: “will someone turn on the fucking air con?!” in one of the few lecture theatres that is not centrally controlled. That’s Queensland kids. I like the cold, I love winter, and this year I was completely screwed over when winter all but cancelled it’s Queensland tour. Come back Winter, we love you like Bruce Springsteen.
5. Never having to watch the Boxing Day cricket test ever again
If my Dad lived in Melbourne, I could pretty much guarantee that he would want to see the Boxing Day test live at the MCG every year…meaning that I wouldn’t have to watch it on TV. I like this scenario very much. Those of you who have a partner/father/mother/brother/whatever who loves cricket, but you’re still not sure after all these years what’s so freaking fascinating about hitting a ball, will understand me. It’s the little things in life people. And I can go to the Boxing Day sales (not at 5am, what’s wrong with you people? Did you and your bed have a fight?), winning. And I’m sure I’d make an awesome girlfriend if I said, “Honey, there’s no way I’m going to watch cricket all day in the sun, but you and the boys go and enjoy yourself with a beer and some official caps”. I’m reasonable….do what you like with cricket, but don’t do it here.
6. Bruce plays more shows in Melbourne
During the Wrecking Ball tour, and during the upcoming Springsteen tour, Melbourne gets more shows than Brisbane. They also get the awesome guest acts. Hanging Rock (not far from Melbourne) got Jimmy Barnes last time, and Melbourne in the upcoming tour gets Hunters and Collectors. I would be all over that shiz if I lived in Melbs. Anything that brings me closer to Bruce wins. Yay. Go Melbourne
Someone get me a plane ticket and a transfer to Monash University already.
Peace, Love and Buffy