The Caesar Salad is the Greatest Fraud Ever Perpetrated on the World’s People



It was Cosmo Kramer of TV’s Seinfeld who proclaimed that the carpet sweeper was the greatest fraud ever perpetrated on the American people. I think he’s wrong, it is my proposition that the Caesar salad is in fact the greatest fraud. Before you decide that I’ve lost it and need some sort of psychiatric help, hear me out. Stay with me people. 

Firstly, it purports to be a salad with the lettuce and all, but salads imply some sort of abstinence from unhealthy food in order to do something good for your body. Yay, clean eating or something. A Caesar salad contains creamy dressing, bacon AND white cards (oh God, not the white carbs). Not exactly super healthy. If I’m going to eat something with that many calories, it’s going to contain chocolate. Or be a cheeseburger. 

It seemed to be a thing for a while in movies or television shows, whether it’s skinny girls (probably from Sex in the City or something) or Elaine and her big salad in Seinfeld. It seems like people order different salads now in things like Gossip Girl, I’ve heard three bean and cob salad tossed around. Is this a thing people? Are different salads “in” at different times? I don’t particularly care for salad so I don’t know. 

I really don’t understand the concept of buying a salad in a restaurant for significant amounts of money. If I’m going to a restaurant, it’s a nice dining experience; salad shouldn’t cost $24.95. Buying salad is for sad people on dates that think their date will think they’re fat if they eat anything. Come on people, have some steak. Or a slightly more complete vegetarian meal if that’s your thing. And if you really love salad that much, perhaps you should consider staying home with your bag of rocket and spinach. Or not…do your thing, I’m just having fun here. 

Something about the Caesar salad, it’s a fraudulent salad. It’s not healthy, it’s not very pretty looking, and unless it’s made with chicken there’s not a lot to it. Thank you for staying tuned for this completely random post. Enjoy. And please, because I want all of you to live long and happy lives…don’t buy your salad from McDonalds, or KFC or fast food places; those people are designed to create fried chicken and burgers. They ain’t got no business creating salad. 

Peace, Love and Buffy 🙂 



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